Ribbons of blush and indigo
by Velasa
Summary: It's Gohan's wedding day, but one guest is missing... why?


Ribbons of blush and indigo ~~ By Velasa 

Ribbons of blush and indigo ~~ By Velasa

-----------------------------------------

Summary- It's Gohan's wedding day, but one guest is missing... why?

10/25/01 11:23 PM

~~~NOTE- Never saw any of these eps *is only up to the Cell games in her tapes, thanks to her discovery of doujinshi on E-bay, and the resulting lack of money* , but I've heard enough about it and this idea got lodged in my head this morning and won't leave me alone until I write it. There's no dialogue in the story at all, I'm trying out a new style, critiques are welcomed. One of many probable takes on this... 'happy' event that isn't quite so happy for everyone........ PG-13 for dark themes. Musical inspiration- the sweet/sad "Sleep better" and "EZ" by Pete Yorn. ~~~

That morning was filled with a deep anxiousness in the Son household. An unexpected guest had stopped by with news- Gohan was getting married. Chi-chi's face had lit up with almost-unfeigned joy, that old mother's anxiousness still tinting the corners of her eyes- no matter how big he got, he was still her little Gohan-chan.

Goten, almost a pre-teen by now, had just stuck his tongue out, muttering something about cooties, making his brother chuckle. Before the conversation could go further, though, their mother burst into happy tears, clutching her grown boy tight and whispering with shimmering eyes how proud she was......

The halfling chuckled, and pried her off, saying he had other places to spread the news, but he'd come right back to get help setting things up. She agreed, abit tearfully, and watched her oldest son shoot off into the sky.

Before the sadness could reach her eyes she brushed it away, trying to ignore how much his smile looked like his father's...

---

~~Two months later~~

This was it.

The big day.

It was amazingly quiet, at least to his ears- he could hear the subtle crunch of grass under his shoes, a sound he hadn't heard in quite some time, just the cluck-click of hard soles in the concrete jungle.

City life'd been strange for Gohan, born in such remote country, where he'd run the valleys and fields his whole young life. Those had been happy days, but felt like a thousand years ago, another life. Now his world revolved around school, his fiancée, his job, paying off the mortgage on his apartment, being the great sayiaman, cooking, washing + ironing his own clothes, keeping his car running properly, and a thousand other things. Now that he thought about it, during those years his other life had been like a dream, all the battles and the fear, the anxiety, the loss and the blood and regret, the tears and the death he'd forced himself to forget.

As the wind whipped across the plain he knew so well, ruffling the strong mosses only slightly and sending the blade-like grass shimmering like a landbound sea, he smiled to himself- it wasn't all bad. There were the stories and jokes his father's friends would tell him, flying, the freedom, learning how to defend himself with his closest friend...

A grin passed his lips at that last thought, and he pushed the others aside, looking for that last person, the one he'd told first and asked to be his best man. All he'd gotten as a reply was a quiet 'I'll think about it' from a turned back, but he knew his sensei too well to him imagine him not showing.

Time to go, and no sign of him. That didn't bother the halfling much, though. Piccolo wasn't one to be on everyone else's schedule, he came and went as he wished. He'd be there. Of course he'd be there.

---

White lace.

Flowing satin.

A dozen red roses clasped in gloved hand.

Blush-colored ribbons in her ebony hair.

She was beautiful.

Gohan couldn't believe his eyes when he turned around at the alter and saw her step in the doors, his jaw practically dropping at how radically different the tomboy seemed now. Everything was swept away in that moment, and she was all he saw in the world......... until he glimpsed that empty spot to his left, the one he'd refused, even at the last minute, to let anyone else fill. Piccolo wasn't there.

For a moment, concern came over him, but then he saw *her* again and was swept off his feet once more. Of course he'd come. He was probably just busy right now.

Right now, he had Videl to think about.

---

The vows, the rings, the kiss, the laughter, his mother's tears, his father's friends grins, Krillan's loud whoop in the middle of the kiss, Vegeta's rolling eyes and scowl, his little brother's smile, carrying her down the aisle, getting pelted with rice outside, more laughter, the congratulations, Yumcha and Tien hurtling small chi blasts into the outside air like fireworks, the party, the cake, the first dance, his dance, the music, the jokes, his father arriving for a surprise visit, the reunion, the joy, his wife's beautiful eyes, champagne, pictures, flashbulbs from every angle, Vegeta knocking out a reporter who got too close to him, Mr. Satan lecturing him on how to treat his daughter, Krillan 'accidentally' tripping and knocking the blowhard into the pond, more laughter, the gifts, the well-wishes, the feel of her soft hand in his, him + Krillan showing off the trout they'd caught at his bachelor party spent fishing, trying to fix his tie, his father trying to help him fix it but only making it worse, Bulma having to break into the middle of all the men to adjust it, another chorus of happy laughter, good wine, another kiss from her, his parents watching in happy sadness-----

And all the time, one chair stood empty. Noone really noticed though- they were all too happy.

---

Next morning.

Gohan slipped his eyes slowly open, staring down at the lidded eyes beside him, her ebony locks playing around her neck to make her even more beautiful.

He sat up, brushed the sleep out of his eyes, and yawned deeply, getting the oxygen flow back to his brain normal. No dreams. A light stretch relaxed his sore muscles, and he pried himself out of bed, rooted for a pair of pants, slipped them on and went down in the kitchen for something when his eyes struck a strange shape in the closet.

Walking over, he kneeled down and fingered the coarse fabric, confused as to what it was before pulling it out to see the weighted shoulderpads he'd worn in the Cell Games. His cape...

Then he remembered what he hadn't before, the image of that empty chair registering in his mind for the first time, and blinked in confusion. Where had he been?

Perplexed by the issue, he shook his bride awake and told her he'd be right back, got fully dressed and flew out the door. No use for the car in this terrain.

---

His eyes canvassed the desert, scanning over the ground till he got his bearings and dropped to the ground, strolling softly through all the familiar places of his childhood 'apprenticeship'

A grin came over his face, and fifteen feet away from that same camp they'd always used surrounded by the rock outcroppings he began to run, laughing out loud 'Piccolo-sa~n!!!", eyes closed as he yelled it out, and opening them upon setting foot in the clearing, a thousand words on the tip of his tongue.

Every word died in an instant.

The ground was streaked violet, a dull, faded indigo strewn like ribbons in the dust and ash of a long-burnt out campfire. But that wasn't what scared him most.

It was the still form in the corner furthest from him, the one almost hidden by a wind-blown cascade of the same white fabric that'd lead him out here, the elegance it once gave the man only giving him now the appearance of a dove with broken wings, the ivory occasionally interrupted by the dried violet the edges picked up when they brushed into the puddle lying below a stiff wrist sprawled out on the cold, cold ground.

Gohan screamed.

He rushed forward, his heart trying to deny what his eyes told him, that the emerald form he clutched in his arms hadn't stopped breathing hours ago, that the chest hadn't fallen for the last time, that it'd be ok.......

Piccolo's shell did not breathe, no matter how much he willed it to.

And Gohan cried.

The young man raised his voice to the heavens, throwing his head back and cursing aloud, damning every god he could name with utmost pain echoing through his body, clutching his sensei and crying out for an answer as to why this had happened, why it'd had to be him, why, why, why?

While his soul raged inside, he hung his head in sadness, and glimpsed an answer in the form of something tucked in the namek's gi, an envelope with a letter inside, the name on it his.

This is what it said.

-

--

-

_"This will probably never reach you, but if it does, I'll at least know I haven't been totally forgotten._

I'm sure by now, since in reading this you'll have proved you still care somehow, you've noticed I wasn't at your wedding. I'm sorry.

I couldn't come. I wish I could have brought myself to, if just to make you happy one last time, but no.

This will all seem very strange to you, I know. But there's a reason I didn't come, the reason that by the time you find this I'll be long dead. It's not easy to say, after holding it inside so long, so I won't try to avoid it or hide it anymore.

It hurt too much.

Because.....

I'm jealous.

No, that's not a mistake. I should have told you sooner, before I ended up killing myself over it, but...

The truth is, Gohan, I love you.

I should have told you, I know, I'm sorry.... but after almost loosing you again when your father threw you in front of that monster and there was absolutely nothing I could do, I was finally able to realize the fact.

At first, you were too young to understand, so I said nothing, then you were too busy with raising Goten, then I didn't have the time, or the guts.... so it's all come down to this letter. I love you.

Feh, I'm not making any sense, I'll just stop this goddamn letter now, before I write anything I'll regret, one of the thousands of grievances that are swimming through my mind, all these things I should have done, all the things I'm sorry for, all the emotions that I can't hold anymore, I've never cried in my life and here I am, getting the paper wet....

All I want is death, this pain of loosing you is too great for me to bear, when you told me that you were getting married-

I think that's when I really died, it's just taking the rest of me a while to catch up with my soul.

Don't cry over me, if you even care at all, anyway, I just want you to be happy kid, and if you're happier with her than you would be with me..... go ahead. There's no reason on this earth for me anymore, there's nothing more I can teach you, except that you're the most precious gift I've ever received- you gave me a heart. And now you're breaking it....

I'm proud of you no matter what, kid. Be happy with that woman, she's the luckiest person in the world.......

Goodbye. You don't need a name to know who this is."

*here the manuscript ends*

END.

~~~NOTE- ... and the other flag is shonen-ai. Sorry for not pointing that out earlier, if I get any well-written complaints I'll forgo the mood I was trying to build and put it in note #1. Tributes to two authors here- the writer of "silent one", and my good friend bocheememon, the author who introduced me to shonen-ai's beauty in the first place. It's way past my time now, I need to go to sleep before I pass out. Ciao. 10/26/01 1:07 AM ~~~


End file.
